10. hit up every DQ in Louisiana
9. stop listenin to Dale when hes drunk, only gets us into trouble
8. Make the mustache as popular as it was for porn stars and cops in the 80s
7. Try to score with my cousin Delilah now that we know she’s adopted
6. fix up my bike Sheila so she quits leakin more gas than my grampa on chili night
5. Bag at least 30 deers, 50 squirrels and 20 boars. But not with my truck or my bike
4. invent 5 new tricks worthy of my trickipedia for the good of future generations
3. drink the same water as Bubba Stewart, it’s workin for him, must be something to it
2. Convince the world that playing MX vs ATV Reflex leads to a serious case of scabies
1. Finally dig my heels in and complete my comeback to off road racin. The world needs a hero like me.
The Boot Banger: Once you get goin at a pretty good clip, let go of the handles with your hands and grab em with your boots. Lean back, stick your arms in the air and scream like hell. Ride until you crash. You always do. Then, and this is really important, get up and ignore the internal bleeding and dance a jig to show everybody that you aint dumb, your just tough as nails. The Johnny recommends a heel-clicker.
Is everyone else hearin all these commersials to do your taxes? itll be a frosty day in hades before i do somethin dumb like that. im tellin the IRS the same thing i told em for the past 15 years, “the checks in the mail.” if they want money they should get it from THQ and MX vs ATV Reflex since theys already takin money outta my pocket by ruinin my comeback chances.
I wanted to send a special holiday Johnny greeting out to all the good folks i love on the old interweb. That aint you Reflex. The rest of you though, Johnny loves you. Merry Christmas.
